The Only in Your Head Trap

No, this is not an "it’s all in your head kind of thing."

What we too often do is merely think about our goals. We let them run around in our heads and think because we thought about it, we’ll get there.

I don’t think it works that way.

If you want to dramatically increase the chance of reaching your goals, write them down and keep them close. You want to have your written goals in a place where you will see them everyday.

To sum it up, the weakest ink is better than the strongest memory.

The Inconsistency Trap

For the first two to three weeks of the year, the gym to which I belong will be very crowded. Getting a parking place between 5 pm and 6:30 would be a joke.

Then, as always, the crowd will taper off. It’s almost as if people believe all they have to do is exercise at the beginning of the year and that covers it.

This sounds really silly in this context, but it’s how we behave in so many other situations as well.

In order to achieve our goals, we need consistent day to day behavior and choices over time.

The Slipping Trap

Once you set a goal and start working toward it, there is going to be some slippage. This is just human nature.

Another feature of human nature is that once we slip, we then slide into thinking the heck with it, I’ve messed up, so I might as well just give up.

There is a much better alternative. Instead of saying the heck with it and giving up when you slip, get back up. Learn from what happened, learn how to prevent future slips, and get back on course.

As the Japanese proverb tells us:

"Fall down seven times, get up eight."

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Do you have goals? Is there stuff about yourself you just want to change? I know all my life has been a quest to make myself “perfect”. To be honest, there has been more about myself I’ve wanted to change, than I’ve wanted to keep. You see, I am one of those self-help junkies. I’m always reading some kind of book that is going to be my miracle cure and finally I’m going to be and have all that I want. Does this sound at all familiar to you?

As I write this, I almost see how silly it sounds. I know we all want to be the best we can be. We want to grow. But there is something fundamentally wrong about always wanting to change. It reveals the lack of love I’ve had for myself over the years. What have I thought is missing or broken that needs fixing? In this mentality, I fail to see the splendor of who I am and the perfection of the situation that is already there. What would happen if I were to just let go of wanting to change myself and my life? Just as an experiment. What is the power in letting go?

I know my mind cannot think in negatives. For example, if someone says to me, “don’t think about a purple monkey,” that’s exactly what’s going to pop into my head. You try it. I bet it already happened. So, when I focus on what I want to change, my mind thinks I actually want more of it, because it doesn’t process the negative. It doesn’t understand I don’t want that. It only works in the pictures of what are there. This is why goal-setting gurus always tell you to state your goals in the positive. When we focus on what we want, not on what we don’t want, we have a better chance at creating it.

I also know when I’m attached to wanting something, and I am forcing it to happen, it rarely happens. Why is that? What is it about my energy of wanting so badly that almost assures it won’t happen? Whenever I chase something so hard, I’m actually pushing it away at the same time. I know that’s a common dynamic in relationships. Whenever there is a pursuer, there is the pursued, who’s generally running away. What do we learn from this? It is okay to know what we want, but then we have to let it go. We all have heard the saying that if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it was always yours; if it doesn’t, it never belonged to you in the first place. The same principle applies here. There is a power in the letting go.

I think we can make positive changes in our lives. I think they will be easier to attain when we learn to let the needing of them go. So the next time you start thinking about what you want to change in your life, try this experiment and see if it works for you. First, see and be grateful for the perfection that is already there. That is always a great place to come from and it just opens you up to possibilities. Next, say what you want in positive terms. Don’t focus on what you don’t want anymore, or you are just going to get more of that. Then, just let it go. Let go of the need to make the change or attain the goal. Let it go and see the power this energy shift has.

Are you ready to begin living a life that inspires you? Sign up for the complimentary newsletter, Inspirations, at LivingSpiritually.com. Teri Thomas is a spiritual life coach who helps her clients connect with spirit and design their lives around their deepest priorities.

If you have a $100.000.000 in the bank, drive new Lexus, look like a movie star and have a perfect health save yourself some time and do not read this article. This article is for people, who don’t have all these things, but are planning on changing that slight inconvenience.

So how do you change it?

Every January millions and millions of people decide to start better and healthier life. We plan to change so many things and set so many goals. "I will exercise at least three times a week", "I will spend more time with my family", "I will find a better job", "I will stop smoking" the list goes on and on.

Now if you know anything about goal setting, you’ll know that the

first thing you have to do is to write down your goals on a piece of paper. Then you have to decide step-by-step how you are going to achieve those goals and form a plan of action as detailed as possible. All you have to do just follow the plan.

That’s a great theory, which hardly happens in reality. In reality your enthusiasm and concentration lasts a couple of weeks and than everyday routine gets to you. You skip an exercise here, get frustrated and smoke a cigarette there, or start jumping from one goal to another and at the end of the year nothing ever gets done or achieved.

Why this theory alone doesn’t work.

1. We often have so many goals it is hard to know where to start and how to proceed

2. We continually jump at different goals and as a result nothing gets done

3. It is hard to remember all the goals

4. Enthusiasm and excitement wears off

5. We don’t have enough time

6. We don’t have enough will power to follow through

Due to all these reasons you need a very strong motivator. Something that will pull, push or drag you forward. There is only one thing powerful enough to do that and it’s a VISION.

You’ll still have to write all of your goals down. Then take that piece of paper and envision yourself after achieving all these goals. In order to succeed you have to become a person capable of succeeding, you have to start thinking like that person, act like that person.

Make yourself truly believe that you are looking into your future through the crystal ball. Remember every little detail - expression on your friends faces, proud look in you parents eyes. Feel the warm breeze on your face, smell the salty air of the ocean, imagine your new house on the beach.

You need to create a vision so powerful, so desirable, so compelling that it draws all your energy and motivation to it. It has to become an obsession. You have to feel something that a person finding an oasis in the middle of the desert would feel. Absolute excitement and complete determination. Then any goal becomes possible.

Arina Nikitina is the author of free goal setting course "7 Goal Setting Tips". To learn 7 powerful goal setting techniques that will help you achieve almost anything you desire visit: http://www.goal-setting-tips.com

Why is it that a person is willing to listen to the author of a self-help book, yet discounts their own thoughts, feelings, and intuition? What makes one person’s insight more correct than another’s? Perhaps the answer lies in one’s belief that they really can find the solution to a question. If so, then how does one achieve this level of confidence? How about, through practice? Exercise, if you’d prefer to look at it that way. Trusting in intuition is learned. It is developed through repeated instances of success.

What does your heart tell you when it speaks to you? What about your “gut?” Do you actually listen to it? Thoughts, feelings, health clues, etc. are ignored daily; often to the detriment of the person being oblivious, or simply unsure of which course to take. It’s time to tune out the extraneous interference and concentrate on the inner melody.

So how does one let their intuition guide them to success? First and foremost, by “tuning in.” With so much going on each day, the typical person barely has time to breathe, let alone sit down to unwind and think. That needs to change. It’s impossible to get in touch with your feelings if you’re clueless about what they are. Tuning in can be done a number of ways: through guiding meditation or relaxation techniques, yoga, a long bubble bath, or a turn in the steam room. Whatever you choose, or wherever you are so long as it helps you relax can get you tuned into what you are feeling.

Second, it helps immensely to record your thoughts and feelings in a journal. Especially when you are working on something big that requires multiple sessions. In addition, a journal allows you to keep track of the things you want to accomplish and lets you glimpse your thoughts in that exact moment, so that you can see how everything unfolds. A journal is your way of recording life scene by scene. It helps to write things out when you need to see how they fit together, and make sure that what you thought at 3:00 am was really as good as what you thought at 9:00 am. The plus side is that you are sure to remember what you were thinking.

Lastly, your plan to trust your intuition needs to be put into play. A well thought out plan is simply a well thought out plan unless it is put into motion. If you have a history of not trusting your instincts, why not start small. Try selecting what you “feel” is a good restaurant, a good book, etc. in order to build your confidence level. Follow it up with increasingly bigger events. Each success will bring you closer to comfortably following your instincts, and soon it will become second nature.

Remember, listening to yourself with your full attention is the precursor to positive, successful attraction. You cannot attract what you want if you are not in command of the kinds of vibes you are shooting out into the universe. So enjoy this process of becoming in tune with your actions, thoughts, and feelings. The results will be well worth the effort when you let our intuition be your guide.

Eva Gregory is the author of The Feel Good Guide to Prosperity. All rights reserved.

You prepare to arrive at a chosen future when you set a goal.

When you don’t set one, the future is an accident of circumstances. Usually, you arrive at a place you don’t want to be in.

In the first instance, you are like a traveler who chooses a destination, then maps out a plan, then finds ways to arrive at his chosen location.

In the second instance, you are like a traveler who merely wanders around hoping to find a good place. Your chances of getting what you want are slim. Happy accidents are rare.

When human kind lived primarily with the mammalian lobe as predominant, all life was an accident. But with the evolution of the neocortex, we were able to create mental maps to create better experiences.

Those people who live in reaction to circumstances have bypassed the advantages of their neocortex. They experience the crude outcomes of using only their mammalian brain.

Unfortunately, most of the people who are victims of circumstances, fail to take responsibility for their plight.

Besides foreseeing the future, goals also keep us motivated. They make the present more alive because we are living a life on purpose. Anyone can live an accidental life, but the more progressive create their futures before they arrive there.

When we fail to arrive at our goals, it is because we plunged too far ahead into the future. It is better to set smaller goals, and then use the experience of reaching them to travel farther. Our plans need to be revised through the lived experience. This way we incrementally progress to a great future.

If possible, share your goals with people who are open to supporting you. When you do this, you will find encouragement as obstacles arise. Your friends may offer possible solutions or necessary resources—or help you keep your intention strong.

For some reason, many goal experts, like Brian Tracy, for example, have found that there is a certain magic to writing down your goals. This magic is further enhanced when you make a daily effort to read them out aloud.

I have also found it helpful to keep a log. As you set out on your journey to create a benevolent future, you can’t see far enough ahead to know exactly what to do. Rather, you gather better information as you review the steps you’ve taken. Instead of looking at the information you record as instances of winning or losing, consider the systems approach. See the information as positive feedback or negative feedback. If it is positive feedback, reinforce that strategy. If it is negative feedback, see where you missed the mark and learn from it. This idea has also been called “failing your way to success.”

Finally, I’ll close with some words of advice from Joe Vitale, who routinely sets and achieves remarkable goals. His definition of a worthy goal is one that excites you a lot and scares you a little.

If it’s worth thinking up, and if it feels good, it’s definitely worth doing.

Resource Box

Saleem Rana is a psychotherapist in Denver, Colorado. If you want to learn more on how to easily achieve your seemingly unreachable goal and experience the true happiness you’ve always longed for, no matter how disoriented you may be today, go to http://theempoweredsoul.com/SelfImprovementBooks/goal.html

Copyright 2004 Saleem Rana. Please feel free to pass this article on to your friends, or use it in your ezine or newsletter. It’s a shareware article.

Welcome to Weekly Wisdoms. Last week I found a new way to communicate over the internet with audio. After you listen, if you’d like to try it for yourself, click here for a chance to make your own free audio postcard… Too cool! Have fun! What a busy week! The lumber package for the barn is on the way. Malcolm is here to saw up the rest of the logs for the siding. We are building a new riding arena. Three new potential clients. And we planted 3 acres of grass! Actually we put down twelve thousand pounds of lime, fertilizer, grass seed and clover seed. I feel like a farmer! I woke up this morning thinking about all that seed and what it might look like next year.

We spent the summer getting ready for this day. Land was cleared, logs carried off, limbs and stumps burned; sticks, roots and rocks collected and removed. A tractor was used for hours to turn the dirt and level the ground, making sure the water would run off into the creeks. Now there is nothing more I can do. I have to give up worrying about whether or not the grass will come up, what it will look like, or if I have done it right. Now I must have faith in myself and in the Universe that we have done all we can to make this dream of pastures full of thick green grass for the horses a reality. And I have to wait until spring to see it! It seems to me that much of what we do in life is like this. We have the choice of how we prepare for something.

We have the choice to give all we have toward a dream or goal, but at some point we have to give up all ownership of that dream and realize that whether or not it happens is beyond us. I think of it like this… If I give all I have and whatever I am working on does not come to pass, or looks different than I imagined, then it is perfect. It is perfect because that is what was created for me. If I want it different than I have received it, I have the choice to work toward that change or not. I think many people never start on a dream, goal or project because they have no faith in themselves or the Universe. I realize one of my strengths is my faith that anyone can do anything they set their mind to; including you. Is there something you really want to do? Just get started. Enjoy it while you do it. Give it all you have. Then let go of the consequences and understand the result is perfect! As always ,Your online Coach and Friend,Miami PhillipsFounder of Creative Masterminds Email: coach@creativemasterminds.com

Quotation of the Week

All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this: Act as if it were impossible to fail. That is the talisman, the formula, the command of right-about-face which turns us from failure towards success. - Dorothea Brande -

Weekly Wisdom Newsletter Plant! — And Accept The Consequences! November 13, 2003

About The Author

Miami Phillips is an ANSIR Certified Personal Coach and the founder of Creative MasterMinds who believes personal growth is an essential ingredient to being happy and contributing to this world. While his main focus is affordable personal and business coaching, he also offers motivational teleclasses, ebooks, reading recommendations and much more. To find out more visit his site at http://www.creativemasterminds.com or send him an email at coach@miamiphillips.com.

"By asking for the impossible, we obtain the best possible." ~ Italian saying

If you are serious about achieving a more meaningful life then you’ll need a new perspective for viewing your life and your career. The following exercise is a new method for going through your day and your week. It’s a new sense of being alive being responsible, being at choice, and being the architect in your life.

Tomorrow, you’ll be totally conscious about everything you do, see, say, feel, smell, taste, and who you are being. Use your notebook, journal or computer file to capture notes, thoughts, and insights.

Exercise: A Totally Conscious Day

Notice everything! Write down your observations using 1-2 words or several sentences. There is no wrong or right way to do it.

As soon as you wake up, notice the first thoughts that enter your mind. Write them down. Go into the bathroom. Look into the mirror. Look into your eyes. Really look! Smile. Spend a minute looking into your eyes. Smile goodbye. Write down feelings or thoughts you experienced.

As you get ready for work, notice everything the rhythm of brushing your teeth, brushing your hair, the motion your arm makes as you stroke on your makeup, etc. Write down any thoughts or describe any pictures that come to mind.

On your way to work, notice your surroundings. What are the buildings like? What does your route to work smell like? Can you smell the restaurants, factories, etc? Do you smell trees in bloom? As you get closer to work, what sensations do you notice in your body? Write down every observation.

When the day is over, spend a few quiet minutes in bed reading your notes. Do you remember things you didn’t capture before? Write them down in a different color pen than your notes from earlier in the day. Finally, spend five minutes writing your impressions of what you captured and what you experienced being totally conscious.

This exercise provides a lot of perspective and insight, but you have to actually DO it not just read the directions and say, "That sounds like a great idea. I’ll try it later." It’s really important to "get clear."

This first step is critical to your success. If you make the decision to become conscious to become completely aware of what is really going on you become aware of what it is that you really want. We often become excited after participating in a workshop, attending a seminar or reading a book. We think, "Oh, this is it. This is the thing that’s going to change my life." However, we don’t make the decision to start, to take action. Or we may think that by simply reading a book, it will somehow magically change our lives: "The information is going to float over me and my life is going to be different."

When the pebble in our shoe bugs us enough, we pick up a book or attend a seminar. We briefly take off our shoe. We enjoy the comfort of the idea of not traveling with the pebble in our shoe anymore.

When the seminar or book is finished, we put our shoe back on over the pebble. Then we start our journey again. We feel a little lighter and more enthusiastic, because of encountering new material. So the pebble is barely noticeable. However, we never made a decision a conscious choice to remove the pebble or get shoes that keep the pebble from falling back in again.

We never really get started.

Whether you know what you want to do or no longer want that quiet, nag pebble in your shoe the realization that you need to make a change and take action is a great place to be. When you make the decision to move forward, it’s truly a momentous occasion. Today, you are finally awake.

This excerpt from The Soul of Success: 7 Steps To Monetary And Spiritual Wealth For A Rich Meaningful Life is reprinted with permission from Essence Press. Learn more at http://www.in-spiros.com/bookstore.shtml

About The Author

©BZ Riger-Hull. www.in-spiros.com For valuable free articles, assessments, & practical success tools mailto:A1@smartautoresponder.com Certified as a Success Coach, “Four Agreements” Facilitator, & Tele-Course leader We help you communicate powerfully, reduce stress, Strategically Attract success, & increase your financial well-being.

bz@in-spiros.com

My goal in life is to have no goals. They get in the way of true progress.

Plenty of successful people swear by goal setting. They’re praising the wrong behavior. Brain research tells us that the goals don’t matter–it’s the intention that gets us where we want to go.

Intentions and goals are not the same. Goals tend to be arbitrary and number-oriented, such as the number of pounds lost, amount of money earned, number of hours spent in the gym, number of new clients introduced or new products developed. Intentions are big-picture statements about what fulfills you. It’s a little harder to measure an intention, but the results are more meaningful.

Let’s say you want to lose 20 pounds. How will you feel when you do that? What will your life be like if you are 20 pounds lighter? Establishing an intention requires recognizing what will satisfy you.

You want to lose weight so that you will feel healthy, strong, fit, confident, attractive, and sexy. The number on the scale isn’t what matters most–it’s how you feel each day.

Here’s a weight loss goal: I will lose 20 pounds in five months.

Here’s an intention: I feel strong, healthy, fit, confident, attractive and sexy.

The problem with typical goals is that we tend to get bogged down by our "even though" statements. We tell ourselves that we are going to lose 20 pounds EVEN THOUGH we failed last time, EVEN THOUGH we question our ability to do so, EVEN THOUGH we don’t think we’ll be able to maintain it. Our minds go directly to the negative images and we sabotage our efforts before we even begin!

Here’s a thought: Why not create an intention that will get your brain to work for you instead of against you?

Intentions allow us to picture ourselves–and how we’ll feel–when we are successful. There’s no room for failure in the picture. We focus on the positive and powerful feelings we’ll have.

Intentions are always stated in present tense, as though you are already where you want to be. Instead of saying, "I will be strong, fit, healthy, etc.", you say, "I feel strong, fit, healthy, etc." What seems like a small semantic difference is a huge shift in our brains.

The latest brain studies suggest that the most effective way to change our beliefs is to create a mental story of success. We need to picture ourselves as we want to be, and we need to talk about it. Here’s the basic formula: See it, say it, hear it.

Our unconscious brain sees everything in pictures. It does not filter images based on what our conscious mind considers true, likely or possible. It literally does not distinguish between reality and fantasy. Think of the nonsensical dreams you’ve had!

Language is most fully processed in the brain when there is a visualized image to go along with it. These images and words become linked to create our "truth"– at least, according to our brains. And that’s where it matters most.

Say it out loud, and you’re engaging your aural learning skills as well.

By intentionally creating new images through visualization, we literally create our own version of reality, and as you’ve probably learned by now, we tend to live in whatever reality we construct. Our potential is limited only by the mental images we choose to develop and store. It’s that simple–and that profound.

Stop setting goals, and start creating intentions. The secret is to include ALL of these steps:

What’s your intention? Focus on feelings, not numbers. Picture it, and write it down. Repeat it to yourself until it becomes familiar and beloved–complete with favorite parts, great pictures, and a happy ending.

Stop pushing toward goals and start being pulled by your intentions. Let your brain go to work for you.

See it, say it, hear it. You’ll never need another goal!

About The Author

Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse. Her work has inspired thinkers in over 80 countries. She serves up a satisfying blend of clarity, comfort and comic relief in her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage. To subscribe, visit http://www.massageyourmind.com.

maya@massageyourmind.com

Own goals are actions, things we do, that stop us from reaching where we want to go or what we want to obtain. When we are out of focus, when we are out of tune with what’s going on, when we do something which takes us in the opposite direction of where we were going or should be going, we have scored an own goal. Sometimes they happen accidentally, sometimes on purpose and sometimes simply because we try too hard.

First Own Goal

To stop scoring the first own goal, answer the following questions:

What is my focus?

What do I want out of life?

When you have a clear focus then you become more aware of your capabilities and what you need to add to be successful. However, we usually do it the other way around. We work out what our capabilities are and then decide what we should focus on. We live our lives like a flea in a flea circus.

How do you train fleas? It’s easy; first you collect them and put them in a match box. Then you close the box. They keep jumping, hitting all sides of the box, until they get a headache, and all of a sudden, the noise stops. You then open the box and the fleas will only jump to the height of the original match box.

How many of us are like this?

We have learned to jump only to the height of the box we have been kept in and sometimes at the direction of the trainer. The result is, even when you take us out of our boxes, we don’t jump to our true potential.

To have a chance of reaching your true potential your focus must come from your feelings.

What would you really like to achieve in your life?

What is that hidden dream?

What is that thought that you are frightened to acknowledge?

IF YOU HAVE THE FOCUS THEN YOU WILL PICK UP THE CAPABILITIES ON THE WAY.

First identify your Focus

Our guess is that this is the way you have run the most successful parts of your life to date. You already have the experience.

If you know where you are going, then start looking at where the own goals are occurring. Are you scoring own goals because the enthusiasm is gone? If you have the right focus your enthusiasm is naturally high. Therefore if you don’t have the enthusiasm for your focus you don’t have the correct focus. Once you have identified it, it is important to keep your aim and objective in front of you. Let it drive all your thoughts and behaviours otherwise you will get lost on the way.

REMEMBER:

Your capabilities and skills will develop as you pursue the focus.

Your enthusiasm is affected by your focus.

Second Own Goal

Another common way we stop ourselves from achieving is; we work out of the ‘want box’ rather than the ‘need box’. It is important to differentiate WHAT YOU NEED FROM WHAT YOU WANT. If you pursue your needs rather than your wants then you have more chance of living a happier life and reaching your focus.

If you live in the want box (e.g. if only I had this, I would be happy) then you start putting conditions to your focus- the most common own goal we score.

Third Own Goal

What type of relationship do you have with:

How you treat yourself?

How do you treat other people?

The best relationship can have is a Win/ Win, a relationship where I win and you do too. We both feel we have achieved what was possible. The result is acceptable to both sides. Neither person feels hurt, used or abused by the encounter. In a Win /Win relationship, I feel good about myself and I feel good about my focus; what I’m trying to achieve. When I do make mistakes I don’t immediately become abusive to myself , I just stop to think and examine what’s happened

Or, perhaps your style is a Win/Lose style, where you win and the other person loses. A style typically used by aggressive sales persons and business people. They have little or no interest in the other person provided they buy the product or do as they are told. Another way of playing a Win/Lose game is by committing what is now called a ‘professional foul’. If you can’t win you do something to stop the other person winning.

Ask yourself: How many ‘professional fouls’ have I committed this month? It can be something as easy as pouting or sulking.

When you go into a relationship, do you go into it to Win/ Win or Win /Lose?

If your self esteem is low you may find that your encounters and relationships are built on a Lose/Win scenario. In these relationships one person gives in all the time to enable the other person to Win. It may be masked in the phrase, ‘I don’t want to cause any trouble’ or ‘I don’t mind what happens, you make the decision’. How many times do you make people feel sorry for you? Classic I Lose you Win behaviour. You give away all your power all the time and I wonder why you don’t achieve anything and feel unhappy all the time.

In our experience the most destructive relationship is one based on Lose/Lose. On these occasions a person enters the relationship or conversation with the mindset that if I can’t win no one is going to. This behaviour is very destructive.

When playing football or any other team sport do you see yourself as participating in a competition of winning and losing? Or do you see it as I am a player in a team with a role to play and my job is to achieve my personal best in this situation? After a major race or game the question a professional sportspersons asks themselves or their coach is, ‘Did I perform to or beat my personal best this time’?

The most important question to ask is:

Did I perform my personal best on this occasion?

Winning is not the issue. What matters is did I perform or exceed my personal best?

The Own Goal is scored when we don’t know what our personal best is. We have no measure on our performance and so we tend to take decisions in life that take us away from Win/Win relationships.

Win/ Win for us is living in my personal best, the result is I play better, the team plays better and the best team on the day wins.

Forth Own Goal

"If you understood the power of your thoughts you would be frightened to think" a wisdom keeper once told me.

In other words your power is in your thoughts. Your thoughts drive your actions. So, get your thoughts right and correct actions must follow. In the context of this article, the correct thoughts are about you. How do you see yourself? How do you see others?

One way of changing the way you think is to treat your brain and thinking process in the same way gardeners treat their gardens, In other words do some ‘Gardening of the Brain"

If you are a gardener the first thing you do is take stock of the garden. Identify the flowers, cultivated shrubs etc and the weeds. If you are new to gardening the first job is to identify which are the flowers and which are the weeds.

Now do the same with your thoughts:

Which of your thoughts would you classify as Weeds?

What behaviours would you classify as the weeds in your life?

If you are a Gardener you would now dig out and remove the weeds and replace them with your favourite flowers.

Which of your thoughts are your favourite flowers?

Which behaviours would you transplant as your favourite flowers?

The system to stop scoring the own goal is to Recognise, Remove and Replace all negative and unhelpful thoughts.

Recognise, Remove and Replace all thoughts that stop you achieving your focus.

Conclusion

Most of the things we do are HABITS.

I have a focus which is built on capabilities rather than capabilities are found to help me achieve my focus.

I run my life on what I think I want rather that what I need.

I build relationships on competing with others or giving in to others rather than trying to beat my personal best.

I spend time admiring and developing weeds in my garden rather than replacing them with flowers.

All you have to do is change them. In this article we have suggested that you will have a more productive and happier life if you change to your natural way. In other words instead of learning a new technique, just unlearn your present thought patterns and behaviour by doing what comes naturally. Focus on achieving your potential. Focus on what you really need in life. Focus on achieving your personal best at all times. Focus on being a flower rather than a weed.

Each time you catch yourself not thinking in this way, you will have scored another own goal.

About The Author

Graham and Julie live in the Canary Islands where they pursue their love for writing, photography and spirituality. See their work at www.desktop-meditation.com

graham@desktop-meditation.com

Goal setting is a powerful tool, whether applied to one’s professional life, personal aspirations or health objectives. In fact, goal setting can make the critical difference between success and failure.

One obvious goal of many may be to simply stick to your diet and/or exericse program in the context of a busy, overscheduled daily routine, but effective goal setting goes far beyond this fairly elementary ambition.

While life may seem out of control at times and that you’re a passenger in life rather than the driver, remind yourselg that YOU hold the greatest power of all – that is the ability to design your own life. You can wake up every morning and decide to exercise, lift your own spirit through positive affirmations, and eat a nutritious breakfast, or you can choose other options that may be detrimental to your emotional and/or physical health. Ultimately, the decision is yours and yours alone.

Here are a few tips to make lifetime commitments through goal setting:

1. Don’t compare yourself with anyone except your self. This is not about winning or losing. This is about making your life better – whatever that means for YOU.

2. Focus on the present – How will you feel after your exercise session today? Will your ability to resist that danish fill you with a sense of accomplishment?

3. Imagine the results – literally. How you picture yourself is often a self fulfilling proficy. Day dream in detail about how you would like to look. Athletes picture themselves performing their event over and over again in ther minds until they finally perfect it. If you see your self as soft, sloppy, weak, tired, or stressed, this may very well become yoru reality for just thinking it. Picture yourself standing tall taking deep breaths, confidently striding forward as you approach life head on.

4. Take small steps – they DO count! It’s impossible to stop smoking, start drinking 64 oz of water, and exerising 5 days a week. Start slowly, one attainable goal at a time. Begin with taking a short walk and slowly work your way up.

5. Be patient – it make take weeks before you start noticing you have more energy, your clothes are fitting more loosely and you aren’t getting short of breath walking up a flight of steps. When you do recognize these signs of achievement, revel in the glory.

6. Put holes in your excuses. When you find your self coming up with an excuse not to exercise, go back to the reasons why you want to exericse in the first place. Put a stop to the negative self talk and obstacle formation. Grab that mental sledge hammer and break through!

7. Journal – If you do just one thing related to goal seetting, begin journaling. Tracking your progress can help you stay focused. Write down not only your goals, but what exercises you did, how you are feeling and what small changes you are noticing in your everyday life like, not being short of breath or lifting something with ease, or having less pain. Writing your goals in front of your journal would help you to review them daily.

Child health advocate, weight-loss industry veteran and former bodybuilding champion Merilee A. Kern is co-founder and CEO of Healthy Kids’ Catalog ® - an online resource offering Solutions That Foster Healthy ChildrenT. She is also author of the fictional children’s book, "It’s Not Your Fault That You’re Overweight - A Story of Enlightenment, Empowerment and Accomplishment for Overweight and Obese Kids". She can be reached through her Web sites at http://www.HealthyKidsCatalog.com and http://www.NotFault.com