Tis the season to be jolly. Tis also the season to look back on the year that was, celebrate personal growth, victories and achievements and reflect on losses, misses and down right stuff ups.

We individually reflect on the year that was; maybe in an MS Word generated letter to distant relatives and friends interstate or overseas, summarising how we did, who changed jobs, house moves, little Johnnie’s cricket scores, the Grandkids new teeth and so on. How much different from last year is it?

Then, in the Christmas hangover comes New Year complete with bagpipes, parties and resolutions. We will; improve business revenue, have a better sales quarter, cut costs; spend more time with staff and less on paperwork; go to the gym, lose weight, stop smoking; drink more (water) and so on…..

Some of us write down our goals, type them up, make spreadsheets, print them in colour, and put them on notice boards. And some of us came to the conclusion; that New Years Resolutions (like affirmations) don’t work so why bother? After all haven’t we got enough proof that New Years Resolutions and Goal Setting doesn’t work, because we just did the “that was the year that was” exercise and not a lot happened like it was supposed to. Or did it?

For a few of us, New Years Resolutions are just not necessary because we already have our goals clearly written out, we regularly review and update progress, we put structures in place to hold ourselves accountable, and we measure our performance.

So, what is the difference between looking back on the year in December 2006 seeing a great year, lots of achievements and growth and feeling good; or seeing a bit of a non event, having Christmas dinner in the same house, same conversations, same complaints, same old, same old?

The difference that makes the difference is our belief.

“If you believe you can, or believe you can’t you’re right” Often misquoted and so true.

Have you ever set a goal, or had one set for you, and you really believed deep down that you couldn’t do it? What happened? You were right weren’t you? Conversely have you ever had a goal where you knew for sure that this was a piece of cake? Yes, and you were right again, weren’t you? With all the experience, skills and knowledge you now have, could you go back and achieve the first goal? Maybe, probably. With the benefit of 20:20 hindsight what was the difference?

Take 5 minutes private time out for the next startlingly simple but powerful exercise

Look at a simple goal you currently have – Write it down with its due date. Study it. Now, write down all your beliefs about this one goal. List everything positive and supportive and all the hairy beliefs as well. Leave nothing out. Done? Good.

Now look back at your behaviours in the last month in respect of this one goal, and delete those beliefs which have not been totally supported by your behaviours. (For example, your goal is to run your first ever marathon in June 06. You believe you are getting fit. You believe you are going to do it in under 4 hours. Your behaviour is that it is 7 months away you have not yet put on your running shoes to train! Put a line through “getting fit”, and put another line through the “under 4 hours” belief. Your behaviours do not support your stated beliefs). Is this getting tough?

Now, imagine Big Brother has been observing and recording your behaviours for the last month. Write down a separate list of what Big Brother would interpret your beliefs to be in relation to this goal from his examination of your behaviours. Be honest, you are the only person reading the 2 lists. (e.g. in the marathon example, “I believe I am not capable”) Compare the two lists. These are your real beliefs as you are living them in relation to this one goal. What are your lists telling you about your beliefs around this particular goal? Are they supportive of achieving the goal or limiting you and holding you back?

This was a simple exercise related to just one goal. If you found you only had supportive beliefs, then congratulations, you are probably well on your way to achieving that goal. Repeat the exercise for some of the goals you are not achieving, you may uncover a limiting belief holding you back. If so, well done again. You are now one step closer to achieving (or redefining) these goals also.

The lesson is: that when we believe we can – we will. When we believe we can’t –we won’t. It is that simple.

This lesson applies to you, your staff, and your kids, to everyone.

You may be wondering why one staff/team member is struggling to reach a target you set and another is effortlessly exceeding budget, when both appear to have the same skills etc. Limiting beliefs may be a factor. Whilst performance management is a useful tool, it is also a blunt one. Share this article with your team as an opening for discussions to explore if there are limiting beliefs holding someone back.

The great thing about beliefs is that they are just beliefs. Beliefs are just thought forms. The most powerful belief we can have is that we control our beliefs. We can change them at will! For those of you who now want to argue that point and tell me that you will go to war for your beliefs. Remember the tooth fairy? That belief fell by the wayside with a little new knowledge and a different perspective.

Look back into your history, how many other beliefs have you left behind with as you acquired personal growth, new knowledge and experience? Coming from Northern Irish Catholic stock - I attest to leaving a few unuseful but very strong beliefs behind along the way, that’s growth.

So I repeat – the most powerful belief we can have is that we can change our beliefs.

As you look at your unfinished goals again - examine them now in a new light, what limiting beliefs do you have which may have held you back?

Changing limiting beliefs can be as straightforward as speaking them aloud and acknowledging their existence. (Note: best done in privacy) However for the more complex limiting beliefs Performance Coaching may be useful. Begin it now - Start shifting limiting beliefs and achieving your goals.

Liz Cassidy founder of Third Sigma International ia a speaker, trainer and Executive Coach dedicated to assisting others to achieve their goals in Business, professional and personal lives. For more informationad and articles go to http://www.thirdsigma.com.au

In this short article I’d like to discuss a certain kind of belief that holds many people - people who are quite capable and talented - back from reaching goals, realizing dreams, and becoming all that they can become. The concept of the "Absolute Presupposition" is central to this discussion. (The term was originally coined by the British philosopher R.G. Collingwood, in a somewhat different context.)

What is an absolute presupposition? For our purposes here we may define it as a statement that is necessarily, unquestionably, inarguably true. You cannot imagine circumstances under which it can be false. "Two plus two equals four" is a statement of this kind. So is "If you throw a ball up in the air, it will fall back to Earth." Absolute presuppositions are statements we must accept as true if our world is to make any sense to us at all.

However, as we shall see in a moment, sometimes we mistakenly believe a statement to be an absolute presupposition…and it turns out that it really isn’t. I’m going to suggest that if you are encountering an unusally tough problem in life - whether it be in business, the arts, sports, your personal life, whatever - it is because you are believing something to be an absolute presupposition which really isn’t one. You believe something to be necessarily true and it isn’t even true at all, never mind necessarily so. Let’s look at some instances.

In the Middle Ages people believed that if you sailed a ship out to the line of the horizon, where the sea and sky met, then you would fall off the edge of the planet. Why? Because they believed the Earth was flat. They could not possibly imgine that it could be otherwise because they had no knowledge of the laws of gravity and physics - a round Earth was simply inconceiveable. "The Earth is flat," was an absolute presupposition, and every single person who was alive on the face of the earth beleived it to be true. Yet it isn’t true.

Similarly, at one time in history it was thought to be impossible for a human being to be able to run a mile in less than four minutes. People believed this to be true for untold centuries - millions, even billions, of people at one time took "It is impossible for a human being to run a mile in under four minutes" to be an absolute presupposition. Yet it was shown to be untrue when Roger Bannister did it. After Bannister, runners everywhere started beating the time.

So then: beliefs exist in your own life that are similar to "The Earth is flat" and "It is impossible for a human being to run a mile in under four minutes." These beliefs are what hold us back from our greatest potential. We set up obstacles and impediments by taking for granted, and by not questioning, beliefs that we mistakenly hold as sacrosanct. By identifying these beliefs, and by examining how we might break free of the constraints they impose upon us, we begin to make incredible progress in all we want to do.

Peter Quinones is the author of Ametheyst Secrets, pblished by I Universe. His websites are http://www.peterq.net and http://www.cultureboutique.com

If you’ve ever had a yearly performance review for your job, you know it can be a tense experience that determines whether you receive a pay raise or not. Your boss will likely have a detailed checklist of your progress and success, as well as notations on areas that could use some improvement.

While these reviews can be stressful, they are also helpful because they offer a bigger perspective than you would ordinarily see in your day to day job functions. You might become aware of activities that are unproductive, limiting, or even detrimental to your professional advancement.

You can also benefit from this same process by creating an annual New Year review for your life. It can help you assess progress in all areas of your life, address challenges and obstacles, and come up with some exciting goals and plans for the New Year.

The best time to do a review is during the last few weeks of the year, but it can be done any time you want a fresh start. You can choose to do just one session or several, whatever works best for you.

Set the Mood - When you are ready to begin, first create a calm, quiet atmosphere. Put on comfortable clothing and choose a private area where you won’t be disturbed for 30-60 minutes. You can also light some scented candles and incense, and play some soft music if you like. Grab a pen and notebook or journal. Then take a few minutes to sit quietly and take some slow, deep breaths. This will help you release stress and focus your thoughts.

Review - Now you are ready to begin reviewing your life over the past year. Did you accomplish everything you wanted to? Were there areas that could have used some improvement? Give some thought to these six categories:

1) Physical health and fitness (diet, exercise)
2) Financial wellness (earnings, savings, investments)
3) Spiritual growth (inner peace, meditation, prayer)
4) Mental health (positive thoughts, attitude)
5) Career (job, business)
6) Relationships (with significant others, children, friends, family)

Ask yourself three questions about each of these areas, and write your answers in the journal.

1) Which of my positive actions contributed to growth and progress?
2) Which of my negative actions caused stagnation and lack of progress?
3) What could I do better to improve my progress in the coming year?

It is very important not to judge yourself harshly during this process! An annual review is not about beating yourself up or concluding that you’re a terrible person. This should be an unemotional, objective view of your life goals and progress. By becoming aware of areas where you can take more control over your life, you can create more success and abundance.

Plan - Now that you have a clear view of the past year and ideas about what you could do differently, you can make plans and set goals for the coming year. Again, look at the six main areas of your life: Physical health, Financial wellness, Spiritual growth, Mental health, Career, and Relationships. What would you like to create for yourself in the coming year? Write some specific goals for each category. Your goals should be realistic, yet somewhat challenging. You want to dream big, but not overwhelm yourself either. It can also be helpful to break your bigger goals down into smaller increments. You can set 3 month goals, 6 month goals, 9 month goals, and 12 month goals.

Action Steps - This is a crucial step in the process. Once you have your goals set for each category, think about the action steps that will move you toward your goals. For example, if you want to lose weight and get into better shape, daily exercise would be an action step. That is something you need to do every day (or nearly every day) in order to accomplish your goal. Be specific with the action goals. Don’t just write, "eat healthy." Write down exactly which foods you want to include, and which you want to avoid. Write down the exact types of exercise you want to include, which days of the week you want to do them, and for how many minutes each day.

Enjoy the Journey - Once you begin putting your action steps into motion, it’s important to understand that self-improvement is a process. You won’t change everything overnight. By expecting too much, too soon, you could sabotage yourself. Instead, keep focusing on the action steps every day. Congratulate and praise yourself for keeping with it. If you begin to slack off, be firm with yourself about getting back on track, but again, don’t beat yourself up. Simply refocus on your goals and begin again. All positive actions will create positive results, and as long as you keep trying, you cannot fail.

Guage Your Progress - It can be helpful to keep performing daily or weekly checks to be sure you are moving in the right direction. Simply review the goals and action steps you have set for yourself, and assess whether you are on track or not. Again, keep this process unemotional and objective. If you see areas that could use improvement, you already know the steps to take to turn them around again.

Activities like this review process can be such a powerful tool in our own development. No matter what we’ve achieved or haven’t achieved in the past, it’s never too late to start over. Each new day is a chance to invite more love, abundance, joy, peace, and success into our lives. Simply by focusing our thoughts and taking action toward our goals, we can create virtually anything we desire.

Wendy Betterini is a freelance writer who strives to motivate, uplift, and inspire you to make your dreams a reality. Visit her website, http://www.WingsForTheHeart.com for more positive thoughts to help you on your journey.

Are you trying to reach a goal that feels like a large mountain to climb?

Climbing a mountain is much easier than one would think. You start at the bottom, you progress towards base camp, you hit the middle of the mountain, and then you reach the summit.

As climbers ascend, they come into contact with different elements such as thinner air and colder temperatures. If they climb the mountain too quickly, they will not be used to the new environment, and they will be out of their comfort zone. The same principle holds true for those of you who are climbing your own mountains, and striving for goals. As you climb higher to reach your goals, you will experience a different feeling.

You may feel anxious, like the mountaineer feels at the bottom of the mountain, knowing that his journey has only begun. You may feel overwhelmed like the mountaineer who is at base camp, knowing that he has many steps to climb. You may feel excited, like the mountaineer who has just hit the middle of the mountain, knowing that the peak is within reach. You may feel proud of yourself, like the mountaineer who has reached the summit, knowing that he obtained his goal.

So, How Can You Climb The Mountain To Your Goals?

1. Start at the bottom – establish what your goals are.

* Write down your goals.

* Avoid generalizations such as I want to be happy or I want to be rich. WHAT would make you happy or WHAT would make you rich?

* If you want to be happy, write down how you will accomplish this. Will you take up a new hobby? Will you go back to school? Will you spend more time with friends or family? The more specific you can be, the better your chances of achieving your goal.

* If you want to make more money, list details such as wanting to increase your income by 10% next year.

2. Climb to Base Camp – devise a plan to obtain your goals.

* Set a specific time period in which you want to obtain your goals – not just someday because someday leads to a town of somewhere.

* If you want to earn a degree, knowing how long the program is and how many courses you need to take each semester is a great start.

3. Take steps to reach your goals

* What steps would you take to earn a degree?

* Perhaps taking one to two classes to begin with would give you a good idea of what to expect.

* Knowing what courses are offered indicates if the program is for you or if the classes you would be taking would interest you.

4. Achieve your goals – reward yourself!!

* Once you’ve earned (or achieved) your goals, be good to yourself. You’ve earned it!!!

* If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to do or wanted to buy, do it now!!

* Be proud that you achieved your goals. This is quite an accomplishment.

Just like climbing a mountain, realizing goals will not happen in one day. But, you can realize them over time. Although your summit may seem too high to climb at the moment, know that starting will be the hard part, and reaching the summit will be your reward.

North Notes is a writing and researching company, which primarily helps writers gain focus, motivation, remove mental blocks that help to unblock the writing process. EVERYONE who writes has been stuck at some point in his or her career. You do not have to accept these mind-boggling roadblocks!

http://www.northnotes.com; (586) 216-7516

Each year people make New Year’s resolutions as a declaration of commitment to themselves to make changes in their lives. Have you wondered how effective resolutions are? Do you achieve your New Year’s resolutions? If you achieve your New Year’s resolutions you are in the minority. Surveys suggest that less than one percent of New Year’s resolutions are achieved. It is merely a ritual people have followed for decades. The question is, “Do you want to make changes in your life?” Making a resolution to accomplish something without a plan to achieve it is like putting gasoline into a car that doesn’t have an engine.

Developing a Plan to Achieve a Goal is surprisingly simple. There are many plans one can use to achieve a goal. The easiest goal-setting plan I use is four steps. See, Think, Plan, Act.

Step I: See: See the situation/issue/habit/behavior as it currently is—Describe it, Define it, Analyze it.

Step II: Think: Think about what you want instead of the current situation or how you want to change an issue/habit/behavior. What would the new situation/issue/habit/behavior look like? Who is involved in the situation/issue/habit/behavior? Who needs to be involved to create the change? Who will benefit from the change? How will I convince those involved to go along with the change?

Step III. Plan. What steps do I need to take to achieve the change? Research the various aspects of your plan. Check for feasibility, viability and possibility. Set a ‘by when’ date. ‘By when’ will I act on my plan?

Step IV: Act. Implement the first step of your plan. When you have acted on the first step of your plan, you have now arrived at Step I again.

Step I: See: What is the current situation/issue/habit/behavior after taking the first step? Has the action I took in Step VI created the change I wanted? Am I happy with the result? If the answer is ‘Yes,’ continue to follow the plan created in Step VI one step at a time. If the answer is No, proceed to Step II.

Step II: Think: What didn’t work? What do I need to change to get the result I want? Who do I need to talk with to help me? Continue to analyze the current situation/issuehabit/behavior until you have thoroughly analyzed the outcome of your initial action. Proceed to Step III—

Step III: Plan: What changes are required? Who needs to be involved? When all aspects have been analyzed, Proceed to Step IV again.

Step IV: Act: Once you have carried out one aspect of your plan you are back to Step I.

Goal achievement is that simple. When people do not reach their goals it is not because the goal was a ‘bad’ goal it is because people do not have an effective Plan to achieve the goal or they fail to act on their plan and/or analyze each aspect of the plan as the plan unfolds to determine if the plan is achieving what they intended to achieve. ###

THOUGHTS TO PONDER : When you know that what you’re doing is right, nothing will be able to stop you. When you are absolutely convinced of the true value of your efforts, you’ll have the courage and the persistence to see them through. To believe in what you’re doing is not just important. It is everything.

Anything less cannot possibly succeed. For any accomplishments you reach while living a lie will ultimately be of no value.

It is not always easy to live true to your highest values, true to your authentic self, true to what you know is right. Yet it is always your best choice.

When you deny what you know is right in order to follow the expediency of the moment, the benefits you gain are trivial and fleeting. Choose instead to live each moment true to the highest values you know.

Then, who you become will be the fulfillment of who you truly are. Why would you ever want to be anything less?

–Ralph Marston

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach has 25 years experience in Personal and Professional issue. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration and Psychology, a Masters Degree in Clinical Social Work and a Doctorate in Philosophy. She has consulted with Fortune 100 companies, professionals and entrepreneurs. http://www.drdorothy.net
http://www.gen-assist.com
dmneddermeyer@gen-assist.com

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts.” -Winston Churchill

"I can accept failure, but I can’t accept not trying.”
-Michael Jordan

Goal Setting - A Valuable Lesson

This week I was reminded of a valuable lesson. I had been working on a personal goal for quite some time and, although I was very close to reaching my goal, I didn’t make it. The pain of not achieving my goal was much more than I expected. Instead of seeing all that I had accomplished, I could only focus on what I didn’t do. After giving myself some time to lament the outcome, I stepped back to take an objective look and find the perfection in the event. Here’s the insight I gained:

1. Be detached from the outcome - I was so focused on the goal that I was trying to force an outcome rather than being open to other possibilities.

2. Enjoy the journey – “success is a journey not a destination” (Deepak Chopra) - By being focused on the outcome, I forgot to enjoy the process and all the knowledge and experience I gained along the way.

3. Be grateful – When I did look back, it was apparent that I had a great deal for which to be grateful, including lots of support and encouragement.

4. Forgiveness – I needed to forgive myself, accept responsibility and let go of the need to place blame.

5. Live in the present moment – I cannot change the past, so there is no reason for me to rehash what could have been. Looking at my life I can see that the present moment is wonderful, and that’s where I want to be.

6. Finding perfection in apparent failure – Now I can clearly see how perfect the outcome was. To be reminded of all of these teachings and gain new insight is a far better achievement than the one I thought I had to have.

What can you learn from my experience? Take a look at what goals you have set for yourself. Are you rigidly attached to a particular outcome? What if you remain open to all possibilities by keeping your desire but letting go of the need for it to happen in only one way? Being open to all ways that your desire could be fulfilled greatly expands the potential of what you will receive. Here’s some actions you can take:

1. Look at your current goals and ask “What can I do to enjoy the process and be detached from the outcome?”

2. Read The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra.

3. Find the perfection (bigger picture) in any setbacks.

Most of all enjoy the journey!

Copyright March 2005

As a Life Transition Coach I work with clients to identify what’s most important to them and prioritize around these values. I help my clients identify and remove obstacles in the way and bring clarity and focus to their dreams. What is your dream? Are you undergoing a major transition and not clear where to turn? Call (972-306-4489) or email me, (coach.v.miller@verizon.net), to set up a complimentary, no obligation 30 minute coaching session. Download my FREE e-Book, 12 Fun Ways to Change Your Life, or sign up for my FREE monthly newsletter at http://www.thrivingthroughchange.com

The idea of celebrating the New Year began about four thousand years ago in ancient Babylon. This celebration coincided with the start of spring and the planting season. Babylon was also the birthplace of the New Year’s Resolution. The idea was to give people who had borrowed farm equipment from their neighbor a chance to remember what they had done and return it before planting began. Most of today’s New Year’s Resolutions follow in that tradition. They are ideas, goals and challenges designed to make practical and positive changes to our lives during the coming year.

There is a school of thought that says most people either love or hate the holiday season between Thanksgiving and New Years, with no middle ground. Most people who take a definitive position on the Holidays probably also fall into the optimistic ’glass is half full’ or pessimistic ’glass is half empty’ measurement of personal outlook. Surprisingly, that’s not a bad thing.

People who take a positive or negative position on life are great candidates for change. If you’re lost in some desert or jungle, the hardest part of that experience is finding out where you are. If you already know where you are, mapping out the journey to somewhere else is much easier. The same is true in life.

Almost everyone chooses some positive change as a New Year‘s Resolution. Such change usually involves weight loss, quitting smoking, attitude adjustment, moving to a more comfortable dwelling, getting a better job, finding a soul mate or making more money. People start thinking a lot about change as a New Year approaches. From a practical standpoint, this is probably the worst time to alter your life. From an emotional standpoint, it’s the one time of year when people are willing to put forth serious effort to change. It would be unwise to waste that kind of an opportunity, even if it means merely laying the groundwork for serious life modification.

I’ll spare you the usual happy talk about goal setting and get down to the nitty gritty of what it takes to make any New Year’s Resolutions you have in mind come true. I’m assuming that you’ve already given much thought to the changes you want to make. The most successful Resolutions involve issues that have been tugging at a person for some time. They’ve already considered the pros and cons are ready to take action.

The end result of any New Year’s Resolution should be personal growth in a positive direction. Given that, it might be wise to wait before calling the divorce attorney or telling off your Boss on January 2nd. What seems like a terrific idea during the Holidays may turn out to be a real nightmare in the emotional doldrums that often follow the glittery holiday season. Some changes are better left to times when cooler heads prevail and less alcohol is consumed.

If you’re ready to move your life in a positive direction, you will have to create a good support structure to complete the change. People who want to lose weight, quit smoking, drinking or some other habit can really benefit from having others around who are trying to do the same thing. Beyond the paid weight loss, quit smoking and addictive substance services, there are a number of free support groups and non-profit organizations willing to help. Most people who try to lose weight or quit a habit without a support structure tend to fail. In many cases, inspiration can also come from within. The idea is to make a conscious decision to change and follow through with a strong force of will. It’s the ‘follow through’ part that gets most of us. That’s because we’re unwilling to actually take the plunge when we have the chance to do so.

There is no substitute for action. Positive thinking is good, goal setting helps, but action rules! That means making time to act on the changes you wish to make in your life and following through. Write down a long list of things required to make changes. Consider each item, and then turn your long list into a short list. Make your list very personal. While people can help you by providing support, it’s imperative that you become the main source of inspiration and support for change in your life.

Part of creating a short list is being realistic. Make sure it’s a daily, not long-term list. It’s always easiest to focus in on and accomplish small tasks on a daily basis that will help you create the kind of change you desire in your life. While long-term goals are always beneficial, short-term tasks are usually required to reach them. The idea is not to overwhelm yourself with unrealistic expectations and impossible deadlines. Take it one-step at a time.

If you want to lose 100 pounds, start by deciding to eat just one meal each day. Be sure that meal is in the morning and, based on your own metabolism, doesn’t exceed your body’s ability to process what you intake and still burn off fat. Diet programs tend to be designed for people who can eat three or more small meals a day and still lose weight. Most people who are seriously overweight do not fall into that category. For them, a slice of low fat lunchmeat, a couple of tomato slices and one slice of bread with low fat margarine or mayonnaise are about all that can be eaten most days in order to lose the weight. Hunger pains can often be handled by drinking black coffee or low calorie beverages. The idea is to lower the hunger threshold, rather then eating to feed the fat.

Any change requires progressive implementation. A person who is seriously overweight cannot really get the exercise they need until after losing enough pounds to make that kind of bodily strain safe. Smokers are in the same boat. They need to cut down on smoking until reaching a point where they have the breath needed to take long walks, jog or do other exercises designed to clear out their lungs and help satisfy cravings.

People who want to further their education and haven’t been to school for a while might want to seriously assess their ability to return to the culture of education before they leap in. Being technically perceptive and able to study is part of that preparation. If you haven’t yet mastered simple computer or internet skills, take on that challenge before you do anything else. Email has become an important part of the student and teacher communication process. Assignments and class information is often communicated to students via internet. Your ability to study and complete assignments will require time. Have you set aside that time? What about your reading and comprehensive skills?

If a new job or career is on your New Year’s Resolution list, but sure your ready to take the leap. Get your resume and letters of recommendation in order. Assemble some good Resume Stuffers. These are certificates of training or achievement, which always look good to perspective employers. They tell a future employer that you are willing to learn, grow and improve your skills. Most require little more then attending a seminar or short series of classes. Without those items, you’re telling a prospective boss that you know everything you want to know and are unwilling to learn more. You are saying that you will not easily accept new situations, methods or supervision. That is not what most employers want to hear.

Relationship changes are hard. Most involve one party telling the other to get lost. No one is going to take that news very well. It’s also true that the person delivering that ultimatum may not always realize the full ramifications of it. Relationship changes can seriously affect us on social, religious and personal levels. People often decide to opt out of a relationship for all the wrong reasons and without good cause.

Before you tear up those photos of you and your intimate partner on that skiing trip or posing with the Knights at Medieval Times, make sure that you are physically, emotionally and socially ready for such a drastic change. I regularly receive emails from people who end up back in relationships, for better or worse, because they had not considered their next move before walking out. Things sometimes get bitter between people, but that’s not always a good reason to break up.

Any good relationship involves work. Both parties have to be willing to give and take as those opportunities present themselves. If you are unwilling to work at a relationship, stay out of them altogether. There is simply no magical formula to create the perfect love affair. Everyone has faults and, eventually, those faults will make themselves known in a loud and clear way. Love often means being willing to accept those faults in lieu of a good relationship with long-term promise.

Part of making a successful change to your life is understanding the concept of self-esteem. People with low self-esteem rarely admit they are wrong. They make decisions and assign blame based on self-gratification and emotional highs or lows. People with high self-esteem are able to look themselves in the mirror and make a rational assessment of what’s right and wrong with their life. How is your self-esteem?

The first step to good self-esteem is understanding that you are the one responsible for everything you think, feel and do. If you smoke, it’s a choice you made even if your parents had a six-pack a day habit. If you’re overweight, it’s up to you to assess your ability to process food and eat accordingly, even if both your parents and all your relatives are overweight. If your partner makes you feel bad, you’re the one who allows them to influence you in a negative or positive way.

Developing good self-esteem is vital to making positive changes in your life. Part of that development is deciding where you stand on important life choices. Are you honest? Are you sincere? What do others say about you? Do you inspire people? Whether we like it or not, these are all considerations that affect our self-esteem.

In the end, making and following through with a New Years Resolution means having the desire and strength of will to make good choices that will cause a positive change in your life, without causing undue pain to others. Those choices must be based on good self-esteem, an ethical sense of doing what’s right and moving forward in a personal, financial and spiritual sense.

Author: Bill Knell Author’s Email: billknell@cox.net Author’s Website: http://www.billknell.com

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A native New Yorker now living in Arizona, Bill Knell is a forty-something guy with a wealth of knowledge and experience. He’s written hundreds of articles offer advice on a wide variety of subjects. A popular Speaker, Bill Knell presents seminars on a number of topics that entertain, train and teach. A popular radio and television show Guest, you’ve heard Bill on thousands of top-rated shows in all formats and seen him on local, national and international television programs.

If you’ve been diligent in doing the past 2 concentration builders you will notice you have a considerable increase in your productivity and your power to stay focused. In fact, you have probably also noticed that you are more organized, and feel more at ease. These are natural side-effects of building your concentration. Congratulations!

* Concentration Builder Week 3

This week’s concentration-builder is a more potent form of week 2. This time instead of actually counting your steps, you also include focusing on your breathe while walking. So it goes like this.

Whenever you are walking, simply coordinate your breathing with your steps.Again, you want to pick a number that’s comfortable for you. Between 3 and 6 is what works for most people. So if you choose the number 4, you want to breathe in over 4 steps. Then breathe out over 4 steps. Inhale for 4 steps. Exhale for 4 steps.

I particularly like this one. I’ve been doing it for years and it’s almost second nature for me. You’ll also find yourself quickly making this concentration-builder a habit once you do it a few times. And once you make it a habit, your concentration, focus, and productivity will continue to improve.

* Concentration Builder Week 4

This last concentration-builder is simple yet powerful. Note: I said simple…but it may not be easy. But if you are intent on developing an iron-clad concentration, focus and improved productivity, then spend 5 minutes each day on this one and watch your life change by this time next week.

You’ll probably need to turn off the t.v…(no groaning) … and send the kids and spouse out of the room to get the full benefit of this concentration-builder, but it also can be done anytime.

First, focus on your breathing. Now starting from 100 and counting down to 0, you’ll count each inhale and exhale to yourself. IE… inhale…exhale…100, inhale…exhale…99, inhale…exhale… 98, etc. That’s it!

The first few days you may find your mind wandering all over the place, losing count, thinking of events of the day. If so, you have to start all over at 100 and begin again.

By day 4 or 5, you should be able to get close to doing the whole countdown with some effort. By day 7, you’ll find your concentration extremely focused and a new sense of effectiveness and organization as your increased productivity allows you to get more done in less time.

Remember, developing your concentration is the easiest way to develop your laser-like focus, consistency, perseverance and productivity.

M. Anthony teaches the Secret of Abundance - How to Achieve the Inner Peace, Abundant Wealth, Fulfilling Relationships and Radiant Health You have Always Imagined! at http://abundancesecrets.com

Read Part I of - How to Triple Your Productivity in 28 days.

We are often asked how did we do it, leave our jobs, the security of a steady paycheck and move across the country to find a simpler way of life. While there are many answers to these questions, the one thing that we did do is "set our goals". Byron and I are both big believers in goal setting, and have used goals in many areas of our life.

How did we set our goals? We answered three questions! Below is a brief summary of how to set goals:

On a separate piece of paper, answer these three questions:

1.What three things would I like to achieve in the next five years? Make sure your answers are specific and measurable.

2. Where am I today in relation to my three goals, and what actions do I need to take to get me from where I am today to where I want to be? Thus question, in my opinion, is the key to successful goal attainment: The answer to this question will help you determine what steps you need to take to reach your goal.

3. What is the time frame required in order to complete each action step? Putting time frames for each action step allows you to monitor your progress, and helps to keep you on track.

That’s it….three questions, but often times there is confusion between goals and action plans. Let’s make an important distinction between a goal and an action plan.

Simply put, a "goal" tells you WHAT you want ; and, an "action plan" tells you HOW you are going to get it.

For example, let’s say you want to go on a vacation next year.

You decide that your goal is to take a two week vacation in Hawaii. Obviously, you could choose any goal whether it would be to simplify your life, turn your hobby into your career, the list could go on and on.

Your action plan tells you what steps you need to take to reach your goal of going to Hawaii. For example, your action plan would show you how you will get there, where you will stay, how much money you will need, how you will budget for it, and when you will make reservations.

So your "goal" is your trip to Hawaii, and your "action plan" describes how you will go about achieving that goal.

Without action plans, the majority of goals are usually not achieved. You need to incorporate how you will achieve your goal.

An action plan also helps you to identify any obstacles or challenges that you may encounter along the way. Let’s assume you do not have enough money to go to Hawaii right now. So, your action plan would identify funding as an issue to resolve, and highlight the necessity to develop a plan to ensure you obtain enough money.

To summarize:

WHAT = Goal

HOW = Action Plan

WHEN = Time Frames

Our goal to "simplify our life" had a time frame of 5 years, however, due to unexpected delays it ended up taking us 8 years. There were setbacks that we did not anticipate, but we were determined and very persistent to reach our goal to change our lifestyle to one of simplicity. Each time we were faced with a setback, we would go back and readjust our action plans, but the most important thing that we did is that we never lost sight of our end goal.

Today, we have achieved our goal of a simpler lifestyle. Our hope in sharing this information is that you will set your goals and never lose sight of your end goal. If you have determination and persistance you will reach it!

Catherine Pulsifer is one of the editors of Stress Relief by a Simple Life Where you will find stories, thoughts, poems and inspirational quotes on simplicity, frugal living, free craft projects, stress and more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ note to publishers - please use the text "Stress Relief by a Simple Life" when linking to http://www.stresslesscountry.com Thanks!

Many motivational speakers and self-help books will tell you that you must have goals. I’ve even advocated goal setting myself in the past. You write down your goals and detail them for family life, friends, finances, career, recreation, health, learning, education and your spiritual life.

However, I’ve now come to the conclusion that successful people with strong self-belief don’t do goal setting in this way - why? - Because their too busy doing what they need to do to get what they want to get.

Successful people don’t spend time writing down what they want out of life they just get on and do it. To be successful at whatever it is you want to do, you need to ask yourself - what do I really want to achieve? What are my dreams and desires, what do I want to build, to create and what sort of person do I want to be.

You need to clearly identify what it is you want out of life, what do you hunger and thirst for, what do you really want to achieve?

If someone held your head under water you’d quickly realise what you wanted - oxygen! You need to feel like this to be successful. Most of us experience this feeling when we fall in love. We do almost anything to impress and be with the person of our dreams.

This is how people create success, it’s how new countries were discovered, products were invented, Everest was conquered and man walked on the moon. You may not want to achieve something so dramatic, you may want to have a successful plumbing business, or be an excellent accountant, or even run a marathon. Whatever it is, once you identify and focus on it you will release the motivation to make it happen.

There is an often-told story of the swimmer, Florence Chadwick. On her first attempt to swim the English Channel she encountered huge waves and chilling temperature. Her trainers were alongside her in a boat. They had greased her body to provide protection from the cold and gave her hot soup from a vacuum flask. She had everything going for her to ensure she was successful.

However a heavy fog set in and as the fog descended, her vision was limited to only a few feet. The water seemed to get colder, the waves higher and she started suffering from cramp in her arms and legs. She eventually gave up her effort and asked her trainers to take her on board the boat.

What she didn’t realise was that she was only a short distance from the shore. When the reporters asked her why she’d given up when she was such a short distance form the shore. Her answer was quite simple - "I lost sight of what I wanted to achieve. I’m not sure that I had it firmly in my mind."

You need to have a clear mental picture of where you want to go. You need to visualise yourself being successful and work towards it, you then have a far better chance of achieving what you want to achieve.

And case your wondering about Florence Chadwick - she did become the first woman to swim the English Channel on the 8th August 1950. It took her 13 hours 25 minutes and I bet her arms were tired!

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