There are five important, yet simple steps to follow, which I believe are necessary for seemingly impossible goals to be achieved.

Step Number One

Spend some quiet time and write down exactly what the change or changes will be and why you want them, this is the first crucial step towards achieving goals. At this stage, write only what it is you’d like to achieve and why. The ‘how’s’ and ‘when’s’ can come later.

Step Number Two

This step too is very important, and it has everything to do with you accessing a state of inner peace. The peace I write about has little to do with listening to relaxation music, essential oils in a burner or harps playing (though they can help). Achievement of your goal requires having peace through a quiet mind and inner calmness regardless of the chaos around you and how long this chaos reigns. When you have this (peace) you’ll have greater clarity, your creative self will make itself known, you’ll gain foresight into how you will achieve your outcome, focus, and negativity will have minimal impact.

There are individuals who know how to step into the state of peace; however others may require some gentle guidance.

If you find achieving a peace state challenging, there are 5 options listed below that may help you:

1. Find yourself some quiet time when you know you’ll be undisturbed and paint, draw, write, or map out all you can about your intended outcome.

2. Embark on a meditation program that will teach you a selection of meditation techniques.

3. If you’re willing to be coached, find yourself a reputable personal coach who can help you work through limiting beliefs and help you discover what your values are.

4. Seek out a mentor. This would be someone whom you admire, is inspiring, motivating, and successful, be available to you and who is a fundamentally positive, peaceful and calm individual.

5. Embark on a spiritual development program.

The world of alternatives is huge. To find something you’ll be happy with may take a little research, start by asking friends and family members to point you in the right direction. If they’re just not into that kind of thing it may be wise to broaden your search through the internet, books, and/or other members of your community.

Step Number Three

This important step is about gifting yourself with a fresh outlook on life.

Looking at things in a totally different way and from a new angle will give you a more global perspective revealing greater possibilities and may be achieved by:

1. Asking parts of you what is important to you, each time you receive an answer continue by asking why that answer is important. When you can go no further ask yourself “how can you change this issue?” This may sound a bit strange, however from experience this works.

2. Transformational Coaching.

3. Understanding your motivation or lack of motivation. Once you’ve gained an understanding of you, you’re in a position to become proactive into making necessary changes toward achieving your goal.

4. Reading autobiographies of how successful people did it.

Step Number Four

By now you know exactly what you want; you can step into profound inner peace at will; have picked up great self-help and self-healing tools; eliminated limiting beliefs; and worked out your values. Now it’s time to finally pinpoint exactly how you’re going to go about achieving your goal.

There will be many ways on how you’ll achieve your goal; however the time frame will vary greatly depending on what you need to acquire first. Maybe you need:

1. To acquire new skills such as sales, writing, technology, or marketing skills etc. for that new career you’ve always wanted to be part of.

2. To seriously start networking yourself and your product. Become known in your community.

3. To gather a team of like minded individuals that will motivate and inspire you into achieving your goal, whatever it is. Constant negative input can quickly extinguish dreams.

4. Start an investment portfolio for your future if you’re after a secure financial future.

5. Read as much as possible on whatever your goal is, it will give you a fundamental understanding of what it’s all about.

Step Number Five

This last but important step (they’re all important) is the calculation of when your outcome will finally eventuate. If you’ve followed the previous steps adding Step Number Four into the equation, you’ll be able to determine the time you can celebrate in a really, huge way of finally reaching the pot at the end of your rainbow!

1. Calculate the time it takes to complete your training courses or higher education.

2. Investment portfolio goals as discussed with your investment adviser.

3. Discuss with your business/personal development/transformational coach how many sessions and ‘home-play’ will be required of you for you to achieve your goal.

4. Factor in time it takes for people to get to know you if you’re selling a product or you are the product. Speak with a marketing professional or someone ‘in the know’ first.

5. It’s important to be realistic about timeframes. Sometimes our greatest plans will go awry and will take much longer than expected (much like newly discovered actors and singers who have been plugging their trade for many years before hitting the big time!)

Sometimes, incidents will happen and be out of our control no matter what we do. Like my computer taking with it all my electronic office equipment earlier in 2005 (one of the most frustrating experiences I’ve ever had). To keep going required perseverance, patience and flexibility – it would have been so easy to give up!

You can achieve your goals with inner peace, perseverance, patience, flexibility and sometimes viewing situations from an entirely different angle.

Copyright requirements are that it remains with Michaela Scherr and for the link to be "click able" or "live" at http://www.michaelascherr.com

Michaela is a Transformational Coach, certified practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), writer, and Metaphysician who is totally committed to helping others create positive and action oriented changes to their lives.

Michaela is the author of several e-books and publisher of a monthly newsletter called From My Desk.

As you begin your new home business you will find there will be hundreds of distractions that will fight for your time and attention.

If you are new to working from home you will have to deal with such issues as family interruptions, friends, neighbors, television, radio, visitors, email and phone calls.

You must structure your time and set a schedule to work on your home business. If you were working for someone else you would not expect your friends and neighbors to stop by for a visit.

You must clearly explain to the people you know that this is your job and your can not stop to chat simply because you are home.

People may think that your job is less serious because you are working from home.

You must remind yourself of the reasons why you choose to bring your profession home. Was it to have more free time with your children, to earn more money than your previous job paid, to create more freedom for yourself and your loved ones?

Remember your home business should be treated as a real job. You are the person who makes the decisions now. You must organize your time without someone else telling you when you should work and take care of your business.

Schedule a portion of your workday to answering emails and written communications and returning important phone calls.

One hour in the morning and one later in the day should be fine. Be sure to be consistent so you do not get distracted from your other tasks.

Focus your time on your most productive activities and find a third party to assist with less important tasks if you need to.

When you are first getting started and perhaps you are in the middle of working on a project - and you don’t quite know if it is going to be the success you hope for, it is very easy to get distracted and go on to something else that looks more promising.

You will learn with experience what types of projects and tasks excite you, which are the best fit for your knowledge, skills, and resources.

But in the beginning when you are first getting started for the first time then this can be a bit confusing, understand this is normal.

The most important thing for you is to take what you have now and turn it into a success.

It is more important to finish what you start than it is to jump from project to project.

When you jump to another idea or project you have to repeat all the things that you did on the last idea or project.

You may find that it is easy for you to start your work but you have a problem with sticking to it until it is finished.

Make a promise to yourself that you will do your best to finish the projects you start before you begin the process of starting something new.

Do your best to work on something you believe in. Get excited about your work.

Be sure to break down the tasks involved in getting large projects up and running. If you approach the smaller tasks individually they will be easier to handle than if you tried dealing with them all together.

Take care of your health by exercising and eating healthy food. The better you feel and the healthier you are the more you will be able to focus on your business.

Write down a list of the goals you wish to acheive with your home business and the time in which you want to achieve them.

Try making a list of the top 5 things you want to accomplish, then set a timer for 20 -30 minutes. When the timer goes off drop what your doing and Move on to the next task.

Exercises such as this can keep you up and excited As you work towards a deadline. It will automatically set your mind to focus on what needs to be completed in a specified time.

Take a break every 2 hours, go for a short walk and get some fresh air, talk to a friend on the phone or read a few pages of a motivational book.

The success of your home business is entirely and completely up to you and the decisions you make.

Success is within your reach when you keep your focus on your goals.

About The Author

Kevin Purfield owns the Wealth System Online. You can find everything you need to start your own home based internet business at: http://www.wealthsystemonline.com/

kpurfield@wealthsystemonline.com

Do you have a life purpose? Are you aware of your goals and dreams and do you know how to achieve them?

A life purpose is like a light that helps you to focus your energy towards a distant goal and to overcome hindrances and blockages on the way.

A life purpose may be like a key word that runs like a red thread through many of your experiences.

In my seminars I found out, that many people could put their life under such a motto. For some is it love, for other trust, justice, hope, fairness, openness, wisdom, luck, wealth, fulfillment, integrity, truth, creativity, beauty, humanness, harmony, health or freedom.

What is the motto of your life or your present phase of life? Could you name it without having to think about it?

If not, I suggest a little exercise, that you can use for free if you click on the link at the end. It’s part of a free course of how to find your vision and live your life’s purpose.

Writing down your life purpose is like a commitment to yourself to reach your goals. A goal focuses your energy and directs it. A goal allows you to overcome difficult situations.

In working with life purposes I use the technique of setting goals that are clear images of a desired result:

* Clear means that you recognise it when it happens.

* Image means that you engage the right side of your brain to visualise a mental image that serves as a blueprint out of which your future will unfold.

* Desired means that you would accept the result if you could have it, and

* Result means that you focus on a final motive and not a process.

For example, if you desire money, ask yourself what you would like to do with it? Is it security or recognition that you hope money will give you? If so, then security or recognition would be the result. You may receive that even without the money.

If you have the clear picture of a desired result, summarise it in a few key words and form a picture in your mind that represents it. This process is called visualisation. It engages your left and right brain, your conscious and unconscious self, and unites its combined forces behind a common goal.

Some people are great in designing beautiful life purposes and plans, but if it comes down to bring them into reality, they never get done. You may know this phenomenon from all the great New Year resolutions that never come true.

Do you have the will power, persistence or desire to manifest your life purpose? Are you just lacking the information or experience how to realise it?

On my website, I offer books, free articles and a free course with instructions of how to find your life purpose, set goals and take the necessary steps.

If you feel you don’t work well just on your own, I offer distance courses on Selfgrowth, money, love, health or life in general. You can find and set goals for those areas that are relevant for you and manifest them in your life.

Dr. Ulla Sebastian is a well-known author, trainer and psychotherapist. Her work spans a wide range of themes for professional and personal growth based on the above principles. Her work is the result of forty years of research, work with thousands of people from all over the world and a lifelong experience of selfgrowth and transformation. Visit her website http://www.visioform.com for free courses, distance courses, books, ebooks and articles.

A true commitment is a heart felt promise to yourself, from which you will NOT back down, no matter what the circumstances may be!

Many people have good intentions and dreams, but only a few are willing to commit to what is necessary to achieve them. Do a review on your commitment level, ask yourself these questions and be honest with the answers.

The ability to achieve your goals and dreams will be determined by the level to which YOU are willing to commit. NOTHING is as important as this fact!

There is a huge difference between interest and commitment. When you are interested in something you only do it when it is convenient. When you are committed to something you accept NO excuses.

The enemy of commitment is resistance. Anything you wish to achieve that is worthwhile, will meet with resistance. This can take the form of, family friends, advisers, self-doubt, self-defeating habits, lack of money, regulations, peer-pressure and many other unforseen difficulties, such as illness etc.

This can leave you questioning your dreams or even your sanity! Take some comfort in the fact that you are not alone. All those who wish to make a better life for themselves, will meet with resistence

Think of athletes or performers in any field. The endless hours of practice and learning. The lack of a social life. The defeats . The huge amount of sacrifices and challenges these people have to meet so they can fulfill their dreams. Only YOU can decide whether the rewards you look forward to are worth your effort.

A serious commitment to a goal does not mean you have to take all the joy and fun out of life. Laughter and humour are an integeral part of the human make up. Intergrate fun into your daily goals.

Learn the difference betweeen giving up and giving in. There may be many times when giving up a certain direction or idea, would be wise. Giving in, on the other hand, should never even be considered.

Life presents itself one day at a time. Take your commitments in daily bite-sized pieces. You can do without mental indigestion! One brick at a time, a house is built. One stroke at a time, the artist paints!

About The Author

Copyright (c) Lynne Schulze. Lynne is webmaster of www.cashstyle.com and a member of the international association of home business entrepreneurs www.ezinfocenter.com/8583674/iahbe

jensschulze@bigpond.com

So there you are, parked on the couch, feeling like it’s time to make a change, making an abstract list of goals for a new you. You’re determined not to let opportunity pass you by, but honestly you’re feeling a little stuck. Here are seven simple steps to help you get unstuck and on the way to success.

1. Pick a goal you’re passionate about. Identify something that would make you happier or your life easier every single day. Maybe it’s something you’ve always dreamed of doing or something that really annoys you on a daily basis. If you’re really passionate about your resolution you’re more likely to stick to that goal for the long haul.

2. Take action today. Right now, absolutely right now, write down three actions you can take to help you meet your new goal. Taking immediate action will not only get you off the couch, but it will help you feel in control of your destiny.

3. Get yourself an expert. Find a coach, buy a book, research the Internet, get an instructional CD, or ask a friend. Find someone who knows more about the topic of your goal than you do and learn as much as you can. Information really is power.

4. Take baby steps. Often we are so anxious to get to our goal that we have unrealistic expectations. Most people overestimate what they can get done in a week, but underestimate what they can accomplish in a year. Break your goal down into baby steps and get started. Just like learning to walk, once you get your footing your confidence will increase and you will naturally gain speed.

5. Do your best impression of a tortoise. Not only should you take baby steps, but just keep taking them over, and over, and over. There are moments when you’ll be discouraged; hang in there. Always keep moving towards your goal. When it comes to getting unstuck, slow and steady really does win the race.

6. Keep your goals visible and visualize your goals. Write down you new goal and put it somewhere where you can see it on a regular basis. (I print my goals out in a caligraphy font and put them in a beautiful gold frame in my office.) Every time you read the note, visualize yourself in a specific situation having achieved your goal. Imagine how excited you will feel when you’ve finally arrived. It’s no coincidence that 90% of medal-winning Olympic athletes practice visualization of their goals. If it works for them, it can work for you too.

7. Surround yourself with a support network. Tell family and friends about your new goal. Make sure you only tell people that you think will be supportive, not “doomsday” friends. Successful people surround themselves with other successful people. It’s a positive cycle you can use to your advantage.

Okay, so back away from the computer, pry yourself off the chair, get started with #1 and just keep on going. Just keep on chipping away and don’t stop until you’ve accomplished your goals and created your own personal vision of success!

Valerie Hayes is one of the country’s most sought after interviewing communications experts. She teaches small business owners, coaches, consultants, and solo-entrepreneurs to use interviewing communications skills and techniques to better market themselves and their businesses. She has been featured several times on national television as an interviewing communications expert. Please visit her website at http://www.HayesSuccess.com

Few things are more difficult than kicking bad habits or developing more positive ones. But it is definitely worth the effort. Bad habits like smoking, overeating or self-criticism shorten lives and lead to underachievement, and unsuccessful attempts to change them lower self- esteem.

In contrast, good habits create a kind of “success auto-pilot,” leading to greater accomplishment with less thought and less effort.

So how do you best eliminate bad habits and create good ones? Research from the new field of “positive psychology” – the scientific study of happy, successful people – points to at least four proven techniques for successful habit management.

1. Replace a bad habit with a good one. Completely eliminating a habit is much harder than replacing it with a more productive habit. Studies of people who compulsively bite their fingernails have shown that it is very difficult for them to completely give up their habit, and much easier for them to substitute biting with the more productive habit of grooming their nails.

Similarly, people who talk too much during meetings struggle to become silent, but find it much easier to replace their compulsive talking with highly attentive listening.

2. Exercise. A habit of regular exercise is obviously important for lasting weight loss. But you may not realize that exercise helps in accomplishing a variety of goals, and in eliminating a number of bad habits.

Frequent exercise helps break habits of overeating, and in kicking all kinds of addictions, particularly if exercise is substituted for an end-of-the-day cocktail or cigarette. Among smokers who become competitive runners, for example, over 80% give up smoking.

3. Reward success. The most fundamental law in all of psychology is the “law of effect.” It simply states that actions followed by rewards are strengthened and likely to recur. Unfortunately, studies show that people rarely use this technique when trying to change personal habits. Dieters, for example, routinely overlook weeks of exercise and restrained eating, only to let a single lapse “snowball” into a total relapse and complete collapse.

Setting up formal or informal rewards for success greatly increases your chances of transforming bad habits into good ones, and is far more effective than punishing yourself for bad habits or setbacks.

4. Schedule your bad habits. If you are really struggling to kick a bad habit, try limiting the habit to a specific time and place. If you are struggling to quit cigarettes, allow yourself to smoke from 9-9:30pm, and only in an uncomfortable “smoking stool.” When the urge to smoke strikes, tell yourself that you’ll have plenty of time to smoke during your pre-scheduled smoking period. Research and case studies confirm that this rather unconventional approach can be a useful first step in changing bad habits.

Copyright © 2004 Stephen Kraus, Ph.D.

REFERENCES

The findings and recommendations in this article are based on scientific research published in peer-reviewed journals. For complete references, see Psychological Foundations of Success: A Harvard-Trained Scientist Separates the Science of Success from Self-Help Snake Oil by Stephen Kraus, Ph.D.

About The Author

Success Scientist Dr. Stephen Kraus is author of Psychological Foundations of Success: A Harvard-Trained Scientist Separates the Science of Success from Self-Help Snake Oil. He was recently featured in Conversations on Success, along with Brian Tracy and Wally “Famous” Amos. Steve has a Ph.D. in psychology from Harvard University. To contact him or subscribe to his REAL Science of Success ezine, please visit http://www.RealScienceOfSuccess.com

articles@stevekraus.com

The start of a New Year often seems as promising as the start of a blank sheet of paper in a notebook,starting a new journal,wearing a new outfit for the first time. It can also be equally frightening as larger new things like moving into a new home, beginning a new relationship, driving a new car.

New Year’s Eve is magical as the clock strikes midnight, the ball drops in Time Square and the cheering and celebrating begins and magically we are transported to a new year in our timekeeping calendar.

7 Ways to Create a New Your for the New Year

1. Release the Old
Lighten your load – travel lighter into the New Year.

Just as when you physically move into a new residence, as you pack you “stuff” you usually consider if you want to bring that stuff with you or let it go.

Find a way that feels right to you for reviewing 2005. You may want to look at your calendar, check register, personal journals, photo albums etc.

Make a note of how you invested your time, energy and money.

You may want to ask yourself questions like, did I balance work and play? Did stay connected with those close or make new acquaintances?

I have done this for years and it is a great practice for the first week in January.

When you are finished, look over your list and write a page summing up the year.

You may also want to make a list of the tings, people, places, and situations that you are ready to release from your life. Sometimes it is helpful to create a ritual around this release. You could burn the paper in the fireplace/or candle, or throw it in the trash etc.
Clearing the past is the important first step.

2. Create a Vision
If this New Year is to be an expansion of your life, moving you forward then you must allow your vision to also move forward.

Creating a “vision” is different for everyone. For some they can actually “see” a new life. For some they “feel” what a new life will feel like. For some they may “hear” intuition telling them what a new life is like.

Take some time to sit quietly and let your mind wander into the New Year. You may find having a piece of paper near by to jot notes is also helpful. Or you may wait till you vision feels complete and write or draw or somehow create it.

For some it is very helpful to create the vision by using photo’s and images from magazines to create a vision board. This vision board can “visually” be helpful for you to emotionally connect with your new vision. And if you can hang it somewhere that you will look and make the connection with your expanded self, daily you will better be able to stay focused. For example, inside the closet or the bedroom door.

3. Set Your Intention
You may think that setting an intention is a new word for making resolutions. It is not. When you make a resolution, you are “resolving” something. Resolving situations happens in step one. Setting intentions is about focusing your energy to manifest your vision.

When you set an intention you are creating new. There is much more power in the concept of setting your intentions.

To set your intention you have to focus your thinking on what you want to create. Setting intentions reminds you that you always have a choice. It reminds you that you have the ability to create your life. It requires that you step forward into a new aspect of your life.

Setting intentions calls forth your life’s energy and concentrates it like a lazar into generating all that you may need to experience your intention.

After you have created a vision board, set your intentions accordingly. Make you intentional statements a clear and easy as possible. Read over you intentions and be sure you are affirming what you desire to create, not what you don’t want.

4. Form a Support Team
We have all tribal/mass consciousness beliefs that it is more difficult to survive alone than in the “tribe.” There is some truth in this belief.

There is great power when two people agree on something. The power of two is squared and becomes more. When you share your intention with just one other person and ask them to believe this for you, you are forming a core of energy that will help to generate all that you need for your vision to come about. And if you have more that one other person – so much more the better power.

Share your vision and intention with someone and ask them to support you in accepting this into your life. You can also ask them to take a stand for you in regards of this vision when you may give up your belief or perhaps you may need to invest your energy in working through a roadblock.

5. Plan for Setbacks
You know sometime we have the best of intentions and then we hit the “speed-bumps,” “roadblocks,” and “detours.” This is the place where most people abandon their intentions. So, planning for setbacks is paramount in moving forward.

Planning includes:

1. Knowing they will be there and get in your way – there may always be some old stuff there that need cleaned out that now becomes evident that it is in your way.

2. Be grateful that you have remained conscious enough to recognize these blocks when they come up. This is the time to hold you vision and intentions tightly as you clear w\away, heal, do some more letting go.

3. Have your support team or teammates in place. They will be the best reminders of your vision and be able to hold the space for you as you take a small detour.

6. Allow Change to Happen
Now, although this may sound sill to even mention it is one of our biggest challenges in creating something new. We think new, vision new, set intentions for new and then we hold onto dear life any change that may have to come about in order to ALLOW the new to arrive in our lives.

We are either allowing or we are resisting. We want our lives to be different BUT..we don’t want anything to change. Now this is insanity and we all do this.

When the change begins to happen, when the old shows signs of falling apart, remember not to focus on when is changing but rather focus on your intentions and your vision and accept that if is making it’s way to you. Affirm that whatever is changing is part of the process to being you new imaginings to you.

7. Claim it – Celebrate it
When you get into the practice of allowing change to take place begin to divest your energy from the fear of change and invest it into the celebration that you vision is appearing in your life now.

Sharon Marquart is a gifted Certified Personal Coach, inspirational speaker and author. For more than 13 years she has share with audiences large and small. She is the author of "Working For God," "Living With Soulful Purpose," and "Creating A Wedding Ministry." Her coaching practice is Living at YES!(You Embracing Spirit) where she passionately supports clients in identifying mistaken beliefs and self-limiting thoughts. She coaches them in getting unstuck, setting intentions and living possibilities! Sharon teaches via tele-classes and facilitates tele-groups and e-courses. Her coaching clients are nationwide. Sharon is committed to bringing Metaphysical and Spiritual Truths into everyday language and applying them to everyday life experiences.

Everything is in flow here in Northern Michigan. Buckets of water have flowed off the snow-covered roof. That water, along with the melting snow banks is finding its way down the hills to my driveway. I no longer walk to the mailbox, I wade. The maple sap is flowing too. Drive by a good stand of sugar maples and you’ll see them all connected with plastic tubing, ultimately leading to the sugar house where the steam is rising. And the creek in my backyard is bursting over its banks.

In the 14 years I’ve live on the creek, it has taught me many lessons. One of the most important is the nature of flow.

Flow is not always the shortest path. When the creek encounters resistance, like a rock, a downed tree or the dam the beavers are building just down stream from me, it does not go through that block. The creek is not concerned with keeping the path short. It goes around, over or underneath the resistance as a way to stay in flow. Yes, over time, it wears down the resistance, but that’s not its primary concern. So like the creek, when we take the path of least resistance, we too flow. The creek is always moving toward lower elevations, downhill, rather than fighting the uphill battle. Image how wonderful it could be to reach your every destination without effort.

We’ve all experienced flow in our lives. Athletes call it being in “the zone.” Those that meditate talk about being in the gap, the space, between thoughts. As my friend Dave “We all know when we are in flow. Everything is effortless. We’re on purpose and we have total alignment between our vision and values. And we’re taking right action to move forward, focused on the now. I think we’re in agreement that if feels pretty darn good!”

Whether we are standing in a creek or we are experiencing flow internally, it does feel pretty darn good. And we are better able to take direction based on “hints.” The more we are not flowing, ticked off, disappointed or frustrated, the more we tend to grab for reason and logic. Reason and logic might save us in an emergency, but they never move us. These “hints” I call intuition. And when I’m in flow, I hear the hints.

Is your vision something you mentally design and, if done right, leads to flow? Perhaps. But it might take more than a few tries to get it right. I like to believe that vision is something that comes to you when you are in flow? My suggestion—go stand in a creek!

About The Author

Deb Martin is a Transition Coach, coaching individuals to simplify life and business transitions by seeing their brilliance and honing that brilliance. Subscribe to my free e-newsletter, PORTAGE, for insights designed to help you feel and act differently in order to attract what you want, naturally. Please visit my web site at: http://www.portagecoach.com

deb@portagecoach.com

Most people think they can make a New Years Resolution as the clock strikes midnight on New Years Eve and their life will magically change. Feeling intoxicated with the uplifting holiday spirits, resolutions roll off our tongues.

Yet, if you want to increase your personal power and escape the ranks of victim-hood through making and keeping New Years Resolutions, you need more than good intentions.

You need to leave behind forever your woe-is-me history of New Years Resolutions and begin a new history. One in which you keep resolutions in July.

Disclaimer: Let’s make keeping resolutions in July as fun and light-hearted as possible. Having escaped mom’s womb with a crop of grey hair, I know all too well the serious side of life inside out, and outside in.

In fact, I think it wise to include at least one humorous New Years Resolution each year. You’re guaranteed a good laugh and it might change forever your history of New Years Resolutions.

I’ve discovered that I can still be exceptionally committed to something while not taking myself too seriously. I encourage you to consider doing the same.

Making New Years Resolutions is a tad like eating apple pie, grits, or tacos: each is done quickly, often impulsively, with expectations of satisfaction.

However, unless the baker bakes soggy, yucky, tasteless apples, or the cook burns the grits, or prepares tacos with moldy beans, many more people enjoy the results they get from eating pies, grits or tacos than making resolutions.

Making resolutions is easy; keeping resolutions six months later and beyond more difficult and challenging.

It’s been estimated that a mere 20% of us find the strength to exercise more, eat healthier foods, give up or reduce smoking, or change other behaviors.

It seems as though our great intentions to keep our top ten New Years Resolutions fail. Maybe if we only made funny New Years Resolutions we’d have greater success.

How sad so few of us keep our commitments to ourselves.

How sad so many of us give up and quit, making their commitments to themselves meaningless. When this happens over and over, we lose face with ourselves.

Our self-esteem plummets, and we have an increasingly more difficult time believing ourselves. We start believing our only history of New Years Resolutions will be a painful and disappointing one.

But there is hope. With some changes in our angles of vision, we can remedy this. We can change our history of New Years Resolutions and create a new history.

Remember: our history of New Years Resolutions is just that. A history. We can always create a new history of New Years Resolutions, one that brings great joy to our hearts.

How a New Year’s Resolution I Made in 1983 and Have Kept to This Day Has Slowly, Painfully, Persistently Transformed Me from the King of Self- Destruction to the Prince of Recovery and Now The Apprentice of Joy

Flash back to New Years Day, 1983, Phoenix, AZ. Sharing an apartment with Virginia, a woman who wanted a brother-sister relationship, while I craved sex.

Hung over, groggy, feeling like shit, I dialed mom, requesting a loan for a new business. (I’m great at starting them, I suck at maintaining them).

She agreed with one condition: I needed to promise her I’d never use drugs again.

Stunned, surprised, uncertain what to do, I remembered I had recently driven her to the San Francisco Airport, smoking a joint and extolling dope’s virtues:

• marijuana,
• mescaline,
• acid,
• hashish,
• amphetamines

were close cousins (in fact, much closer than my blood relations).

Daily I’d roll out of bed and before my feet hit the floor, I’d be inhaling a joint. Could I possibly ever live without drugs?

I told mom I’d get back to her with my decision.

On that New Years day so long ago, I began

• looking at my life,
• how I was living,
• the results I was getting, and
• how much love surrounded me.

It was a pretty bleak picture when I faced it honestly, looked at it squarely, and didn’t run away from those truths and the reality of my life.

I dialed her number, hands trembling slightly.

“Mom, I promise never to use marijuana or any other drugs the rest of my life.”

That promise was the beginning of transforming my history of New Years Resolutions. I now have a much brighter picture than I did in 1983.

Flash Forward. As of November 2005, I’ve been drug-free these twenty-two years. I also stopped consuming alcohol in November 1983, as well as giving up gambling and seven years later, bulimia.

I had a strong commitment, i.e., the promise to my mom. Could it be that people who quit and give up on their resolutions don’t really have as strong a commitment as is needed to succeed?

Or could it be that it takes more than a strong commitment if emotional wounds from the past haven’t been healed?

I suggest that until we clear out emotional wounds from the past, we act unconsciously and not always in our best interest. To learn how to easily clear out old beliefs, some traumas, and thoughts that no longer serve you, visit EFT4Abundance.

Visit it to greatly increase your odds of keeping your New Years Resolutions in July! I wish you much success.

Harvey Rosenberg is dedicated to helping you increase abundance in your life. He has transformed himself from being the king of self-destruction his first 39 years, to the prince of recovery for 16 years, and now he is the apprentice of joy the past 6 years. He is a Personal Development Coach who authored an inspirational, humorous, self-help book HeartMinders: Spiritual Lightposts Reminding Your Heart to Love.

Visit EFT 4 Abundance to discover how to keep your New Years Resolutions in July.

Some of my clients have come to me feeling like their worlds were not under their own control. They felt as though everyone else ran their lives and had some aspect of control in everything that they did. I asked them to note some specific situations in which they felt this way and how they felt "out of control" of the situation. It’s interesting to note that in every circumstance, there was some aspect of "guilt" or "second-guessing" involved. Indeed, these are the purest signs of self-relinquished control.

There are many ways that people can feel "loss of control" in their lives. We can lose control through frustration and burn-out, living in a rut, stagnation, illness, change, and trauma. However, one of the most common is unconsciously giving up control to others. This is an unconscious act involving two or more parties where party "A" literally hands over the reins to party "B".

At one time, "parental voices" controlled and molded our lives. These are the voices and rules provided by authority, family, and friends from whom our core belief systems evolved. However, some external influences and people can re-engage that basic instinct for seeking parental acceptance simply by imposing doubt into your world. By accepting the guilt or self-doubt imposed by others, you begin to live in someone else’s "context". You surrender your own belief systems and adopt those of the other party. In doing so, you begin to live by the rules and controls of the other person.

One of the more common areas in which this occurs is in a professional or group setting where power and control are part of the environment. Many politically savvy individuals ("A") will take control of others ("B") simply by learning their ways, gaining their trust, and then embedding doubt or a feeling of non-acceptance. In this way, "A" is now subconsciously seen as the parental figure and "B" requires acceptance from "A". "A" is now in control of "B". Over time, "B" grows to feel animosity towards "A", but is usually unsure why except for the fact that "B" doesn’t like the way that "A" treats them.

Once you fall into this situation, it is difficult to break free. You have to go through and undo the web of emotions and doubt that now clouds your thinking. However, you have to realize that it’s not so much how "A" treats you as it is how you feel about your view of their treatment. By separating your ego and emotions from the situation, you are better able to break free from the reins of self-relinquished control. But, it’s not so much that they have explicit control over you as it is that you are merely seeking their acceptance. It’s an interesting situation to observe!

The best way to prevent such situations from occurring is to go through your own psyche and find out which "parental voices" are still present and dislodge them. You need to replace the old, worn out parental triggers with your own rules for your evolving belief systems. Of course, we usually just leave these voices where they are out of comfort and because they seem to work. However, these are triggers that can be tripped to cause us to fall into this loss-of-control scenario.

I recall one young man who, once he finished college, simply hung out in a local pub. He could not figure out what to do with his life. His parents had passed on, he had no other relatives around, so he just "waited" for anyone and anything that tripped his triggers. Because of this, he ended up in trouble from time to time because he was easily misled by people who gave him what he wanted — acceptance and direction. After much work and planning, he began to move forward in his life and is slowly becoming a success in his own right. But, as you can see, these types of situations are very common and can occur just about anytime to anyone. I’ve also seen such issues occur with abused women, corporations, and myriad other inter-personal situations. People tend to sit and wait for acceptance and guidance from others because they relinquished control.

Live your own life by replacing these triggers with your own rules for living. You will never obtain acceptance from everyone as the rest of the world is out seeking acceptance as well. It’s a never-ending cycle! Learn to accept yourself as, in the long run, you are the only person who has a stake in your own decisions and endeavors for a self-fulfilling life.

About The Author

Edward B. Toupin is an author, publisher, life-strategy coach, counselor, Reiki Master, technical writer, and PhD Candidate living in Las Vegas, NV. Among other things, he authors books, articles, and screenplays on topics ranging from career success through life organization and fulfillment. Check out some of his recent print and electronic books as well as his articles covering various life-changing topics! For more information, and to find out about his upcoming title on book publishing, e-mail Edward at etoupin@toupin.com or visit his site at http://www.toupin.com!

Copyright (c) 2004 Edward B. Toupin